It’s good to share

I felt my first flutters about 2 weeks ago… They were very faint and at first I wasn’t sure that it was actually my baby I could feel (thought it might be wind… not unusual for me these days unfortunately!). But in the last 3 days little Strawbug hasn’t stopped dancing! So now I know that’s exactly what I felt 2 weeks ago. It’s the weirdest feeling, but humbling and trully amazing (I know, I use that word a lot when it comes to Strawbug!).

My beloved was almost in tears the other evening (in his defence, he had drank a couple of glasses of wine). He told me that he can’t wait to be able to feel (from the outside) what I can feel (on the inside). It’s kind of nice that, for now, it’s just me and Strawbug sharing these moments together… but I feel a little sad that my beloved is “left out”. So, I’ve been thinking a lot these last 2 days about how I can include him more in something that’s happening inside of me…

It’s difficult, because I can’t help him to feel what I’m physically feeling (though I do a pretty good job of helping him feel how I’m mentally and emotionally feeling! poor thing!). And I know I’m not the first mum-to-be who has felt this way. As always, my research for this blog started with the obvious google search; which led me to this post on peainthepodcast.com and many other blogs and articles which recommend taking your partner along to classes, to ultrasound scan, buying him (or her) books for the daddy (or mummy) to be, who isn’t carrying the child. These are all great tips. But my beloved is already very involved in all of these ways and I still feel like he’s missing out.

I love my partner with all of my heart and more… we share just about everything (come on, it wouldn’t be healthy to share 100% of your lives!). And I desperately want him to share this.

The other big piece of advice on offer is talking. Talk to your partner. Tell him/her what’s going on. Refer to the pregnancy experience as a joint experience, answer questions with “we” instead of “I” or “me”. And talking is good, talking is great… though my beloved will tell you that I have a tendancy to talk too much! But it still doesn’t help him experience it the way I am experiencing it.

So how do I really share this pregnancy with him, as fully as I want to? Maybe the answer is, I don’t… or more likely, I can’t.

Any ideas you guys have though, would be greatly appreciated! Please leave a comment…

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Baby On The Brain

Wow! It’s been a while since I wrote anything. Well, in relation to how regularly I’d been writing in the few weeks leading up to my absence, at least.

It’s not that I haven’t had anything exciting or interesting to share. Au contraire… It’s just that I’ve developed a syndrome; Baby-On-The-Brain. So, I’m currently living life in my own little world, thinking about babies, my baby, constantly. I think about nothing else, not even work… even when I’m there!

Since the big announcement and my pregnancy becoming “official” a little bump has popped out of my belly. It seemed to appear from nowhere, overnight.

I experienced a mild panic yesterday when the hard, round mass that I’ve so quickly become accustomed to, went all soft and squishy. I honestly thought I’d mis-placed my child! A quick visit to mumsnet reassured me that I hadn’t mis-placed little Strawbug at all, (s)he was probably just having a rest towards the back of my body. Still, I was mighty relieved when the round mass hardened up again. Phew!

I wish I had one of those baby heartbeat listening devices. I was taken completely by surprise (and tearful delight) when, at a recent midwife appointment I was introduced to the drum rolling sound of my baby’s heartbeat. Amazing! Exciting! Real!

Come to think of it, it was about 2 seconds after that experience that I started hugging my little bump… and I haven’t stopped since. All I can do (all I do do) is hold it, stroke it, rub it gently in a soft soothing circular motion. I’m sure people think I have constant gas (which I do, but that’s another matter)… I don’t care though. I just keep on hugging little Strawbug, not letting go.

Do you think it’s a prophecy of my motherhood?

No potatoes today, thank you!

Why does maternity wear only come in one size? Mahoosive?!

I cannot be the first woman on earth to ask this question. And the expandable jeans that keep falling down? (no matter how big your bump gets – I’m reliably informed).

I went shopping on Saturday for some new clothes; maternity wear, because none of my existing clothes fit me now. Well, nothing that goes round my waist anyhow!

Against my good friend’s advice, I first tried on “normal” clothes, one size up from my regular size. She was immediately proven right when I discovered that whilst the fit was great (and very comfortable) around my waist, the clothes were hanging off me everywhere else. Making me look like the proverbial sack of potatoes!!

I wandered down to a well known department store (I had birthday vouchers to spend) and to my utter shock and surprise, across 4 floors of merchandise not one – NOT ONE – item of maternity wear could be found.

I was already close to throwing the towel in, so I took the easy (but expensive) option. I went to Mamas and Papas, the only specialist baby and mummy shop in my town. And even in a shop whose sole purpose in life is to clothe babies and mummies to be… the clothes still made me look like a sack of potatoes!!

90% of the tops available were “smock” style and big enough to “grow into”. Well, what if I don’t want to wear a tent and grow into it? What if I want to wear something that fits me now???!!!

So, I ended up with 2 long Lycra (snug but stretchy) vest tops, 2 pairs of expandable jeans (which I’m already regretting due to having to howk* them up every 3 minutes), a cardi and a great idea for a new business!!!

*”Howk” – to dig or dig out. “Tattie howkers” or potato diggers were employed to lift the harvest by hand. ~ Parliamo Scots?